Well, it's been a while since our last post - there just hasn't been time before now to do more than a few personal e-mails.
Gotchya Day was 3/31. That morning we signed several documents, including one agreeing to a 24 hour "Harmonious period" - basically they're giving you 24 hours to determine if you are bonding well with your child. When I first read this it kind of seemed a bit silly to expect the child to form a bond that quickly (ours was instantaneous). I was wrong.
Grace's first couple of hours were relatively easy - neither she nor any of the babies cried at all when presented to us. We came back to the hotel and she fell asleep in my arms. I laid her down in the crib and she slept for about 30 minutes... then the fun began.
When Grace woke up she was confused, scared and screaming what in baby talk must translate to "where the heck am I and who are you people!?" She was inconsolable; nothing we did could calm her down. We did give her a bottle and she took it easily - in fact, she had two that afternoon. That's pretty good given a lot of children shut down entirely... better yet, feeding is bonding. Still, she would not stop crying when she was alone with us. She was ok when I walked her around, or when we were with other people - such as when we all got together for the family photo that goes on our official Chinese adoption certificates. She finally tired herself out and went to bed at her normal time (8:00pm).
She slept through the night and woke up an entirely different baby. She was still wondering who these strange people were, but she was calm. Good thing too since we had a busy morning schedule. Day two is when you finalize the adoption - at least where Chinese law is concerned. Our first appointment was with a Chinese adoption official - basically a short interview where they once again confirm we're doing this willingly, why we're doing it, that we will love, feed, protect and educate our child and, that we will never abuse or abandon her.
While waiting for our turn with the adoption officials, we got to meet the nannies who cared for Grace at the orphanage. There were two of them - one older and one younger. Interestingly, it seems they both spoke different languages. The babies were known in the orphanage by their middle names - Jiao in our daughter's case. The older lady referred to our Grace using the Mandarin pronunciation - which seems to rhyme with "meow" but with a G. The yonger woman, however, used the Cantonese form; which sounds more like "goo" (but not quite). We're told that Cantonese is what the babies are most likely to respond to and we've been trying to use her Cantonese name - slowly introducing "Grace" and "Emily Grace".
While we were all waiting our respective turn with the official, the nannies worked the room. Our guides introduced them to each of the parents and they helped translate any questions we had for them. We did find out that while none of Grace's crib neighbors were adopted recently, some are due to be adopted in the next month.
During all this time Grace was calm and happy. I was even able to make her laugh. Through this, and the next appointment with the passport officer, she was calm and alert. She took about 5 bottles all day (her normal amount) and seemed to be settling in. So it seemed like 24 hours made a big difference.
Today, though was yet another experience. We did a bad thing last night and let her stay up an hour later than normal. She had to be woken up this morning and she did not like it. She took her first bottle without any objections, but was cranky as we got her dressed and packed up to go on a group shopping trip.
Then her attitude changed. She was OK while we were in Wallmart, but still a little fidgety and cranky. We wrote it off to being tired. Then we went across the street to McDonald's for a quick lunch... that's when it began. She got more and more cranky and fidgety, and she would not take her bottle.
Thinking she might just be wet, Karen changed her diaper and that seemed to help. She started to eat again and Karen left me with her in McDonald's while she went to one of the nearby department stores. About 5 minutes after she left the crying began again... whining mostly at first.
Then I felt it and smelled it. Not 10 minutes after Karen changed her, she had her first poopy diaper. Of course, I am alone, in McDonald's, surrounded by people who whose language I do not speak. I had also only changed one diaper so far and that with Karen's help.
I thought I could ride this out and wait for Karen to return and bail me out. No such luck. With each passing minute, Grace's cries got louder and more desperate. I knew what needed to be done, but I didn't know where to do it (no changing tables in the restrooms) and I didn't know where in our diaper bag all the things I needed were (I'll not make that mistake again).
Finally some of the other folks from our group arrived and one of them loaned me a diaper and some wipes. Unneccessary had I been familiar with our own diaper bag... but a god send at the time. So, our daughter passes one of her first post placement milestones (first poopy diaper) and I pass one of my first daddy milestones (first public, unassisted, diaper change).
Unfortunately Grace was still kind of cranky and out of it... as we later learned, this episode was just the start. She was actually kind of blocked up and that was causing her a lot of distress. What happened in McDonald's was just a little relief. When we got home, though, everything resolved itself and she's back to being happy, playful and hungry.
So, it's been a whirlwind 48 hours, but things are starting to settle in to a pattern. I think, with a little more time and a lot more sleep, things are going to be OK!
The next few days are spent mostly being tourists. There are no more official activities to be done in Nanning. We're just here waiting for Grace's passport to be issued and then it's off to Guangzhuo and her appointment with the US government to get her immigration visa.
